Quotes to remember--
"You get what you concentrate upon... there is no other main rule" - Jane Roberts
Will You Be Living YOUR Reality… Or Someone Else’s?
Someone once said to me……..
“Reality Colleen, Reality.”
Everytime I think of it I want to smack …….Nevermind .
No. Wait.
Everytime I think of it…….. I want to punch that person’s lights out!.
That feels better .
SO much better.
It ………..infuriated me.
Why? because I dislike it when people think they have the right to tell me what my reality is, should be, can be, or will be.
In this case someone was telling me that something, that means everything to me, something that I consider possible. Wasn’t. Worse yet, they more or less laughed, at my believing it was.
Yea….. that person…… didn’t know me very well.
I…….. do not give up.
I can be…..Determined. Stubborn, and when I have a ”mission” You have no idea how far I will go and how hard I will fight.
I become ………
The “friendly”…… voice of doubt
Is there someone in your life who is a really a nice person, maybe a friend, but just is always saying things to you like….
“Don’t be silly, you can’t do that.”
“Yea, sure that will happen”
It might even be a close family member.
People can like you, and even love you and say things to you that can hurt your feelings and make you feel your idea’s and plans are at best, questionable.
Some people just don’t get it.
You’re strong, determined and living somewhere they only can dream of.
In a REALITY of possibilities - A place where anything is possible.
The version THEY have decided is reality for you and them is sad, plain and possibilities are few… and far between.
Do NOT allow this person to chip away at YOUR hope.
It Can Be Easy
The fact is, no matter who that person is you have to do one thing:
“Own” your own mind and heart.
You have to know who you are and what you want. You can’t allow people to tell you or dictate TO YOU what YOUR dream is. Trust me, there will be people who will tell you … “you can’t” “you won’t” and “you never will” reach your goal or dream.
The ONLY comeback to them should be
“I can, I will, just watch me”
If you expect to make your dream happen, to reach your goal you have to stand behind it and live it. “Own it” and never let anyone tell you what your reality is, can be or
Will be.
That is only up to you.
Three Steps To A Better Reality.
1. Doubt - Get rid of it. Period. There is no room for it in your life and the life of your dream.
2. Doubters - We can’t always walk away from them. They can be our family members or friends who might just not be as focused or hopeful as you.
Handling them… Ignore their opinions of your Reality. Cold? unfeeling? Heck No. How important is your dream and goal? Are you willing to give it up, weaken your hope or faith because you feel the need to let a “friend” go on and on about how your reality is only a wishful dream?
When you can.. walk away.
When you can’t turn a deaf ear to their pessimistic attitude, let it go in one ear and out the other.
3. Everyday do something that gets you closer to your dream and goal. No matter how small. It matters.
It ALL matters.
Bottom line
Life is short. reality is only what you are going to make of it. If you want to be happy start inviting “happy” into your life. If you want hope, invite “hope” into your life and people who have it. Surround yourself with only those who uplift you, support you and your dream your vision of what your life can and will be.
Doubters, move pass them. They will only drive your faith , hope and dream into the ground. They can’t seem to posses those gifts themselves and some, won’t respect that you do.
Move on from that toxic person and or toxic place.
It can sound harsh…. but so is losing your hope.
“Reality Colleen, Reality”.
Yes, “friend”, I’m heading toward mine….I will get there. There is no doubt in my mind. I “OWN” my mind and heart.
No one can tell me what I can or can’t do. What I can achieve and what I can’t.
Only me….
I, YOU….. can do anything.
So….show me!…………..Show THEM.
Come with me…
we’ll show them..
ALL.
Thank you for coming to the blog this week! I appreciate it so much!
So do you know how to Switch off those people or do they get to you? I would like to know how you handle them!.
Leave a comment below!
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Have a great week guys! 
I have the heart and soul of an athlete..
Do you?
The other day, I looked up the definition
of an Athlete in The Websters dictionary.
An Athlete is -
A person who is trained or skilled in exercises, sports or games requiring physical strength, agility or stamina.
I know,
“You don’t have to have the body of an Athlete, to have the heart and soul of one.”
The Path I Chose
I always LOVED to watch people run. It was always exciting to me to see people do it. It always took my breath to watch them. I always wanted to be that person.
Now I am. I Love running. I recently started doing it regularly.
You don’t have to be an athlete to have the desire to be one. You can however become one. You have the beginning’s of an athlete inside you. I think we all do.
When I run and feel like that athlete, I am that athlete. I think of everyone who wants to try but feels it’s too hard. I want to take you with me on my run to share that feeling with you.
Exhilaration, strength, invincibility.
If I can feel it… so can you. I want you to feel confident, self-assured and good about you. It seemed like it took forever for to find something that I wanted more than anything else and that I would fight for regardless of the pain, difficulty or the time it could take to reach it.
But I found something, or rather it found me.
I tried one more time. It worked.
So can you.
Yes , you can.
The word can’t….. doesn’t fly here, baby.
You can’t tell me can’t…… because I know different.
Insight From The Gymgirl
I understand how bad it can get. I understand trying everyday and the constant failure, starting one diet after another and not having the motivation to get out there and exercise can drain your confidence down to almost nothing.
But I am living proof you can do it. I’m living proof it can happen. You can find that spark inside you or it can come into your life and if you grab onto it, nurture it and help it grow, your life can and will change forever.
The only thing that will definitely stop you is if you stop trying.
The Buck Stops With You.
“I can’t”
Like I said. that phrase, Doesn’t work here. I know what Websters say, and they are right, But I know now that…..
The heart of an athlete is also this:
Someone who loves a challenge. Who loves to win. Does their best every time, then digs deep and ask for just a little more than he feels he can give…. and then does. Someone who has a fire inside to reach for the highest point of excellence and never stop until they attain it and reach it.
That, to me sounds like it can anyone. An Athlete is just someone who isn’t willing to accept “OK” as good enough. Just someone who doesn’t know the word “can’t” and doesn’t quit. They continually reach for more.
They aren’t willing to accept “OK” as their personal best.
Are you willing to live an “OK” life?
The Bottom line.
If I can come from a place where I didn’t even see it possible, or care if it was, Why do you think you can’t? One step at a time, one day at a time, one small goal at a time, one breath at a time.
You see that girl in that picture at the top of the page?
She wouldn’t sweat.
She never exercised.
She thought…. that was it. The way life was meant to be.
She was so wrong. Look at her now. I’ve never been so happy to be wrong. It’s in the darkest places and moments that light shines the brightest. That people do, that we do.
This, is me. I am putting me out there now. I never would have before. It has changed me. I am a totally different person.
You have it in you……….and can do it.
Inspiration, motivation, strength, willpower, dreams and goals, can come in all kinds of forms. Mine, I thank God for everyday. I protect it with my life. I respect it, would die for it.
Just truth.
It means that much to me. It’s my heart and soul.
Life is way too short people. Go out and find what DOES mean that much and stop wasting your time on things that don’t ask you to be more, that don’t make you work harder to reach, things that are only expecting “OK” from you.
I found mine and now I work on being better , faster, stronger everyday because I want that life that I dreamed of. That dream deserves my full attention, respect and every bit of effort I can give it. Anything less would be an insult to my dream and all that I have gone though to attain it so far.
It comes down to a very simple fact:
It’s this…..
You’re all in.. or all out….
This is your life not a dress rehearsal, get moving now. Your time and you only get so much of it ………is ticking .
Reach for that excellence in your life. You deserve nothing less from yourself.
Could you be an athlete?
This athlete……………. doesn’t doubt it for a minute.
Thanks for coming to the blog this week. I appreciate it!.
I would love to hear what you think about this. Do you feel that person inside you?
Leave a comment below and tell me your story or opinion!
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Please check out my friend’s new website. www.HowToGetOnRealityTv.net Dan Gheesling is a wonderful blogger and now has written 2 ebooks to help others reach thier dreams as he did. He was the BIG winner 4 years ago on CBS Tv’s ”Big Brother” show. Now he wants to help others do it too!. Any reality tv dreams you may have, Dan’s site can be of help !
Check out his amazing blog as well for motivational, informative and fun!! www.iwouldcoach.com
Have a wonderful upcoming week guys!! :)
Your Top Priorities. Are You One Of Them?.
Priorities.
We all have them.
Family, friends, work, school etc.
BUT…..
Where are you on your list of priorities?
Are you EVEN…. on the list ?
I’m willing to bet you a lot or most of us are either low on our list or…….. not on it whatsoever.
Me being top on MY list of priorities in all honesty, is new for me.
For those who don’t know, I took care of my Mom for 10 years.. It was 24/7 and the ONLY priority to me and on my list then was making sure she was healthy and life for her was as happy as it could be.
Taking care of Mom and then losing her made me realize a few things. Life moves fast and in one instant you can lose who you are, your life, and everything you know.
I did.
Learning to do things for myself is new, but I feel empowered and strong.
Though at times…..scared…. and about 3 years old. :)
My life, me, being on pause for that 10 yrs, after a while, I began seeing all the possibilities in front of me and it was and IS new and exciting!!. It’s a new challenge for me, accepting and learning.. I am a priority. I always was to my family. Just not to me. At that time, all that mattered to me was Mom.
So in writing this post I feel it’s not only meant to help you, but me as well. I feel it’s a good exercise in getting comfortable and being OK with thinking of me.
So my big question to you is this:
Where are you on YOUR priority list? and are you even on it? .
I’ve got news for you…. You should be. You need to be…..
You have to be.
Here’s why..
I’ve been learning that if you don’t make yourself #1 on your priority list once in a while and fight for what you want and need, you most likely won’t ever get close to it..
Wow. Tough? Maybe selfish?
It’s just the truth.
But the truth is sometimes tough and sometimes, you’ll have to beright back!. Or wave good-bye to what you want and need.
THAT’S ……….The honest truth.
It isn’t easy. I know. Trust me.
But I want you to really, really hear me now.
Life is so short. Time goes by so fast. We always think we have so much time. We don’t.
Time is precious. Don't forget your life is as well.
How to be a top priority without being selfish?
It’s Easy…Sorta..
You never forget others. Sounds simple. It is…. and it isn’t. You know life, you get going, you’re on a roll, making things happen, all of a sudden, someone needs your help…
This is happening in my life right now. I have been making time for a family member who is having a really tough time right now. So I’ve been juggling my life and making sure I do all I can to help them.
That’s the key. You have to do this. You can’t just only think of yourself.
The trick is never forgetting your life is just as vital. We have to help others with their dreams and plans without forgetting our own in the process. You have to always keep your life and plans moving forward while not freezing out the needs of others. For your own sake it’s important to give, to help, to lend a hand when needed.
Where do I fit in? ...Do I?
A Few Tips
1. Be aware of how far you’ve come I look at the road I have traveled so far to get here. It amazes me. It also reminds me if I hadn’t taken that first step toward the life I wanted and hope for, I would be in that same place today very overweight and ultimately lost without my Mom.
Looking back at the road you have traveled can be an amazing gift and lesson. It can be like a mini movie of your life. When you look back to see how far you have come you see all you’ve gone through to be where you are now and you’ll get a lift and some perspective of the importance of your own goals and life..
2. Looking forward… to your goal. Seeing yourself IN that moment is important!. “If you can see it you can be it”. More truth.
You have to always picture yourself reaching your goal. Your dream. The more you do it the more you will see and feel that your dream is truly going to BE a REALITY.
3. Self-worth not self-”ish”. Being driven and thinking of yourself is NOT being selfish. Think about it this way. Your goal or dream, If you don’t work for it and fight for it, will someone else get you there without you doing anything?
Most likely not.
Everyone has the right to fight for something important to them. It’s not selfish to want to be happy, healthy, or reach a goal or realize that dream.
If others are telling you it is selfish to reach for something important to you, don’t listen to that.
If they are telling you have become selfish in reaching for your dream, you might want to just check yourself. Ask yourself if you have done anything to hurt anyone while trying to reach that goal. Getting to your dream, is your right and important but hurting others on the way to your dream, will only take from your happiness when you do reach that goal. When we hurt others we truly only in the end, wind up hurting ourselves.
Do your best never to let that happen.
Bottom Line
Life, can be tough. So many times we put our lives aside for the sake of others. If you’re lucky you have people in your life you would do this for with joy and happiness. Getting lost in the needs of others can be a joy and a blessing.
It’s all balance. The best jugglers have it. Have you ever watched a juggler? He keeps all the balls in the air and he never stops moving, having to be aware of everything around him and hopefully, never dropping a ball.
That’s what we do everyday if you think about it. We’re all jugglers. The best ones have a great deal of persistence, strengt,. patience, coordination and balance.
Life is a balancing act. Priorities will and can change because our lives are constantly changing. We just have to remember while keeping loved ones, friends and everyone else on the list happy, to always keep ourselves on that list and be persistent in the idea that our dreams and goals have to be met as well. If we don’t, that one shot we all have, will pass us by. We all deserve that shot at happiness we’ve been gifted with.
Forget others needs?. No, absolutely not!.
Just remember our own too!!.
Thanks for coming to the blog this week! I appreciate it!.
Do you have trouble seeing yourself as a priority or putting yourself first? I’m curious to know how you handle it. Leave a comment and let me know!. It’s in your comments that we can all help each other with our experiences!.
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3 Easy, Meaningful Ways To Give Of Yourself.
Last week my post was about what to “give up”. This week, I want to talk about not what you should “give up” but what you should
“give.”
Simple and Easy
Everyone LOVES the idea of simple and easy.
We’re all busy. We would love some things to just be easy, and wow, if we can get simple too?! Would’nt THAT be awesome? For instance two things we have a hard time finding time for.
Giving and helping others.
So many times you’ve heard these statements, I know I have.. Maybe you have even said them yourself.
“I don’t have enough time to give to someone else”
“I don’t have enough energy at the end of the day to give more than I do”.
“I wish I could, but I just, well….I can’t.”
Yes. You do.
Yes, you can.
Because this….. is EASY
I know we are all running around every single day trying to get to the job, to the store and even….. to the gym. 
But making time to help another person is something that when you DO make time, you’ll be getting much more in return than you could ever give.
GIVE ME………. ”5 minutes”…. Read this blog and let me convince you!.
There are so many ways you can give. But here are 3 simple and easy, yet meaningful and fulfilling ways to do it!.
One of the best things you can ever give is that of yourself and your time.
Give someone ……Your Time
I know I just got finished saying I know you time is limited.
This however is 5 minutes.
If you’re taking 5 minutes to send a Email’s and or text messages to people everyday …Then in 5 minutes you can LISTEN to someone, you can call them on the phone, or actually sit with them face to face which ever way you decide to do it, and give that person 5 minutes ….
of your full attention.
Why?
Have you ever needed to talk about something and had no one there to talk to?. . What did you want more than anything at that moment? Was it someone just to listen?. To just sit and hear your side of a situation, or a problem you have been dealing with and are feeling frustrated about?. Maybe just someone to ask how your day went but I mean really….. really listen.
We ALL need to be heard and sometimes there isn’t anyone around to listen.
If you really want to give something meaningful to someone give them you for 5 minutes. LISTEN to their concerns. Lighten someones heart, you might even have an answer to the problem at hand.
Just listen. Give them….. just 5 minutes of your time.
Give them… you.
Respect
Have you ever felt like no one respects your opinion, your thoughts, your ideas or just simply…….You?.
Then you know what it feels like. You feel you aren’t valued. When you take a moment to let someone know you respect them or show them they matter, you show them they are definately valued as a person.
It can mean everything..
If that is difficult for you, I realize not everyone finds it easy to show others how they feel. So, show them easily by simply treating them with kindness, honesty, and care…
respect.
Give someone respect. Show someone that they matter, if they have trouble with respecting themselves and seeing their own importance, it could show them that they are wrong. Because if you give them respect you’re showing them they’re worth giving it to themselves.
SUPER EASY……Show someone a simple kindness
That simple act of kindess could mean everything to someone.
This is so incredibly easy and worth it. Have you ever been down or depressed and someone made you smile, laugh, held a door open for you when you had your hands full?. Simple little things that at the right moment can mean and feel like a million bucks?.
Here are a few simple gestures that can change a day around.
Holding a door open for someone
Send someone an Email, Tweet or Facebook just to say “Hi, I was thinking of you today!”
Pay someone a sincere compliment.
You might be thinking “What is that really going to do to help someone?”.
Maybe a lot! 3 things that are so small and easy that you wouldn’t think it would accomplish much. Ah, but they can and do.
You can never know just what will touch someone heart or soul or mean something to them that might not have meant anything to you but to them, it was the lift they needed or the word they longed to hear.
At the very least you lifted a spirit and comforted maybe even a broken heart or lost soul.
You can’t ever know what will mean the world to someone else.
What It Comes Down To Is This
Sometimes the smallest thing or simplest action or the most innocent comment or word can mean the world to another person because you can’t always know what is going on in their day, their minds …or hearts. You can simply say a couple words that possibly was something maybe their Mom used to say, or maybe just send that Tweet and say “hi” just when they felt no one is noticing them at all. Something so tiny and innocent can mean the world to others.
It has to me, and I am willing to bet you too.
One more reason to give. What it can do for YOU.
Giving to others of your time, your heart and your soul can be an amazing feeling when you help another person feel worthwhile, important, valuable. We don’t neccesarily get gold stars everytime we do it but we can recieve something better.
If you need that pay off Okay, here it is…..
When you show a kindness to another human being, at some point it will come back to you. If not immmeadiately, then it will down the road.
You learn from giving. You grow from giving and become stronger for giving. If you do it enough you will become more comfortable with it and better at it. I know not everyone is comfortable being open with others. When you allow yourself though to be more open, you open your life and heart to so much more than you can imagine.
You know, next time YOU may be that person on the other end of that bad day and someone will take it upon themselves…… to lift your spirits.
Sounds easy…Simple..
Yes. For some reason, the simple and easy tasks seem to be some of the ones most needed in this world today. Let’s change that!.
As Human beings, our humanity is one of our best qualities. So, share it and
Give.
Thank you for coming to the blog this week!.
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7 Things You’ll Need Give Up To Be Happy.
So what would you give up to be happy?
There are 7 things I know in my heart that to truly be happy, you have to leave behind. Give up. I realize saying it and doing it are two different things. I think it’s an ongoing process we continue to work at each day.
To be happy you have to let go of the following:
1. Saying “I can’t”.
2. Quitting before you know the outcome of your actions.
3. Saying “I won’t”.
4. Accepting “OK” as good enough.
5. Putting things off.
6. Fear.
7. Impatience
More possibilities, chances and life.
What you gain when you give up the 7
Saying I can’t - Yea, that one, has to go……Now.
Saying I can’t is one of the biggest wastes of time there is. By the time you think …”I can’t”, then say “I can’t”, the fact is ….you could have tried.
But it’s true right? Stop saying “I can’t” and gain confidence, strength, you reclaim some of your greatness by giving up those two words.
Saying I Won’t - I won’t is about the same as “I can’t” but I think it can be worse.
”I won’t” means you aren’t even thinking of trying. You’re giving up before you even look at what you need to do, to accomplish what you want and need to accomplish!. Why?
“Won’t”, is worse. Give up “I won’t” and you will be opening your life up to so many new possibilities , you won’t, be able to keep up with them all. You will be amazed.
Quitting Before You Know The Outcome Of Your Actions - You have been trying and trying. You see no results. You’ve decided to give up. Classic. I’ve done it myself. Started a diet, it doesn’t work fast enough and “Oh, forget it”. If you hang in there though, and give your goals and plans time, to grow and flourish, give yourself time to see a change, time for change to take place, you can get what you have worked so hard for.
If you don’t you will end up with nothing. Period. Every time.
Guys, we get just so much time on this planet, and giving ONE MOMENT away is a waste of your time. The time you were gifted with. If you aren’t going to put in the time you are wasting it. OVER and OVER and OVER. You’re smarter than that and deserve better. Give it to yourself. The gift of Time.
Accepting “OK” As Good Enough - This infuriates me to no end. Drives me nuts. That’s right sometimes we accept “OK” as good enough. What are we doing ?!?!
If you feel yourself doing this, STOP NOW!.
You were not born to do reach for ”OK” or “satisfactory”. You were not born to reach for the clouds. The “stars” are out there if you reach and work for them, you can have what you want, but you will be called to work for it, strive for it, sacrifice for it.
Nothing worth having is easy. If you start demanding from yourself your best you will start to see things change. Remember, other people, if they think “OK” is good enough for you, that you don’t mind or care, that will be all you get from others as well. A lot of the time if you don’t demand better for yourself, you won’t just get it from others either. Demand 200% from yourself and others will start to respond.
Putting Things Off - For some, this is one of the easiest things to do. You tell yourself “I’ll do it later.” “I’ll get to it.” “I’ll start tomorrow.”
Maybe… but maybe and it’s a good chance, you won’t. (there’s that word again). It’s only human to be nervous, scared and apprehensive about new things, big plans, important goals. I get that way too. But I have learned that putting things off, only drags things out, make it worse and can make it easy to forget it all together. Just do it. That phrase has made Nike millions of dollars because it’s short and to the point and most of all…
It’s true.
If you stop putting things off you will be surprised how fast things will start to get done and start coming together for you. Life is not to be put off but lived. If you make a mistake, so be it. It’s the real and authentic you. Learn from it and move forward but no matter what, you will have moved forward and that, is the only direction your life should be going. Ever. Period.
Fear - Fear can be a good thing at times, it can prevent you from doing things that are stupid and in some cases, dangerous. Fear is a larger enemy than it is a friend though. It can KEEP you from making some of the best decisions you will ever make. Fear can paralyze and stun us into feeling helpless and weak and talk us into believing that we actually are.
This is the furthest thing from the truth by the way. Giving up your fear can and will change your life and how you feel about yourself. It can be the most difficult thing, giving up fear. I think we use it a a safety net at times. “If I’m afraid, I better step back and think on this move again.” You must go forward with confidence in this life. Fear is not a friend. Give it up. You will gain a lot more in return.
Impatience - “Patience is a virtue”. It’s also a blessing. I was once told I have the ”patience of Job.” I felt really good about that. To me that means I’m smart, willing to wait for good things and work, for even greater things in my life and maybe even….. wise? (Jury is still out)
Giving up impatience will only bring you peace of mind. Because when you slow down, and realize that the world and universe, has its own timing and you can’t force everything to your own time table you gain a few things.
You will gain the peace of knowing that if something isn’t coming your way in the time YOU WANT it too, it doesn’t mean it won’t. It can just mean that it has a time table of its own and this situation is going to call for you to have patience.
This is important: The answer is not always “NO” ..but just “not yet”. Expecting to get what we want, WHEN we want it is fine, to a point. But sometimes we just have to wait for things. At the time we think it’s unfair, wrong and we want to scream. If we give up impatience though, and hang in there and keep trying, fighting and showing up everyday to fight another day, try one more time, say one more prayer, If we just give up impatience and not give up when it’s too hard, what we get in return is the gift of persistence, and that, is one of the greatest blessings you will ever receive. One you will need and use through your life.
The Wind Up
Life is not easy and sometimes we make it tougher on ourselves than it has to be. We do our best but so many times we can be our own worst enemy. These things I listed are all things that can get in our way and keep us from succeeding in most of the situations that come our way. Life loves to throw us a curve ball every chance it gets so we need to really do ourselves a big favor and get out of our own way.
The last thing we need is to make it even tougher on ourselves. Giving up these few things is a great start to becoming individuals who think smart and ….act even smarter.
I don’t believe in the saying “smart enough to know when to give up” Because I don’t believe there is a time to ever give up. But I firmly believe in being smart enough to know
WHAT, to give up.
Thanks so much for coming to the blog! I so appreciate it!. Your time is important here!. You spending a few minutes looking around and reading this blog… Is an honor for me. Thank you!.
Do you have a problem with any of these 7 things? Maybe you think there are even more important ones !. Let me know what you think I would love to hear your voice!. Please leave a comment below and use the sharing buttons, I would appreciate it!.
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Dan Gheesling: Helping Others Reach Their Dreams!.
How many of you watch reality tv shows?
I know a lot of people watch them. That’s obvious by the insane numbers of them popping up everywhere, all the time!!. I have to admit I have been watching “Celebrity Apprentice” lately.
I like it!.
Reality shows, if they are good, can really pull you in. I don’t watch many but there a couple I check in on now and then.
I have always liked and watched one reality show in particular though. One that I watch on a pretty regular basis.
“Big Brother“ Which is on CBS.
In case you don’t know the show “Big Brother” let me give you a quick outline.
On the show, a group of people are chosen to live together in a large house, then they are then isolated from the outside world. They are continuously watched by television cameras. If you choose, you can purchase the ability from the CBS website to watch the houseguests, as “Big Brother” calls them, or the contestants, live 24/7 as they live in the house through what they call ”Big Brother” live feeds.
Each season lasts for around three months, with 12-14 contestants entering the house. In order to win the final cash prize, all the contestants have to do is survive weekly evictions and be the last one.. or as in the case with “Big Brother”, the last two.. standing. In “Big Brother” they have a big winner and a runner – up.
The runner-up will win $50,000…. and the big winner will win $500,000.
Not bad huh.
This is Dan Gheesling.
If you follow the reality tv game show “Big Brother”, most likely you know or recognize Dan Gheesling. If not, then let me let you in on a little reality tv show trivia…
He was the big winner on ”Big Brother” 4 years ago!.
Pictured here with Dan is Memphis Garrett. Memphis was Dan's best friend and ally in the Big Brother house. Memphis won the $50,000 prize that year and Dan and Memphis are still good friends!.
You’ll notice this is Personal Development/Motivational/Health/Fitness blog, but I asked Dan if he would let me write a post about him because I believe in helping others and lending a hand whenever possible to help someone else reach their goals and dreams. I also think Dan’s new project is unique and something that is one of a kind, and for those who have the same dream Dan had a few years ago of getting cast on reality tv, Dan’s new project…
will be invaluable.
What Dan has done is written 2 ebooks and created a very informative new website in hopes of being able to help others with their dream goal of getting on reality tv!.
The Books
Dan’s first book is all about his four-year adventure in trying to get cast on the reality show “Big Brother” and is called “How To Get On Reality Tv –How A Normal Guy Got Cast On Reality Tv”
Dan’s other book is an actual “How To” Guide that teaches you everything you should know about getting cast on reality tv.
In ”The Guide” “How To Get Cast On Reality Tv — The Step – By – Step Guide” Dan takes you through each step of the casting process giving you all his insider knowledge, tips and the advice that only someone who has gone through it all and knows all the ups and downs of the process can give. Yes, it took Dan those four years to finally get cast on “Big Brother” so the amount of information he gives is extensive.
For example, all the little nuances that make ALL the difference in whether someone is accepted by casting, or not.
He covers it ALL in the The Guide . From how to fill out your application to apply, to hopefully getting that big call giving you the news you’ve been chosen to be cast.
The Website
The website is another great source of information. It is THE place to go for advice about trying to get cast on reality tv. He also plans on having interviews in the future with other reality tv contestants people would like to hear from. The website is continually growing with new and helpful resources all the time!.
For example, recently he started a series of how to videos for his how to course
You can sign up to receive an e-mail each time Dan introduces a new video to the course. They will be a great companion to the How to guide!. In the videos Dan will talk about and help you through the different steps in the casting process. His first in the series is up and running now!.
Dan is also getting ready to do his first Podcast. This will be another great way for everyone to learn a lot about the different steps to making their reality tv dreams come true. He has already had to two live video chats as well!.
In fact This Week, Thursday, March 29th at 9:30 p.m.
Dan is going to be on Jokers Update Radio Chat
On April 1st, Dan will be on The Baub Show
Please check Dan’s Twitter page and Dan’s Facebook page for additional information on these appearances.
You can “Click” on the book below to see the website and get all the information on Dan’s book, the How To Guide, new videos, articles, dates for future live chats, everything, and that new Podcast coming up!.
Reaching Out To Help Others
Dan also has a blog. It’s a Personal Development and Motivational Blog. I wanted to take this time to mention that as well. Because it was Dan’s blog at www.iwouldcoach.com that inspired me to start this blog!. His blog is informative, fun, motivational, inspiring and he has a wonderful community of people who come to the blog and it’s growing all the time.
It is my favorite blog!.
I really wanted to help in some tiny way and share Dan’s new project with all of you because I know everyone has a dream, hopefully, many dreams in their life. I realized while writing this post that not only could I hopefully help Dan in some small way but I could also help in reminding everyone that having the chance to reach out and help another person is one of the greatest gifts you can receive.
One thing I’ve learned keeping in touch with Dan, following Dan’s Twitter page and Dan’s Facebook page over the past four years is that quite a few people have the same dream Dan had. People are always asking him for his advice on how to get on reality tv. With his new project, he has come up with some great ways to pass on that experience.
Another thing about Dan is he always does his best to answer everyone who sends him a message. The best place to reach Dan and ask questions of him is Dan’s Facebook page or at his new website www.howtogetonrealitytv.net because at those places he will be able to answer your questions more in-depth.
Following a good example
If you have a dream and it’s one that you know in your heart of hearts is one you have to reach for. You should. You have too. Dan knew that and he never gave up. It took a lot of trying to get there but he finally reached that dream and now is helping others do the same.
There are some people in life you can learn a lot from. They live their lives in a way that teach others by their example. They want help others, they reach out, they treat others as they would like to be treated themselves.
No one is perfect. Certainly not me. I just think doing your best to reach out to others, to help lift a spirit, or reach a dream, to possibly help guide a heart in the right direction, or maybe, help climb that mountain…..is a gift.
I do my best to live this idea everyday. I have truly learned a lot from Dan over these past four years. He is the type of person who reaches out when he can to help others.
We should always do our best to help those who have dreams that they are trying to reach and attain.
That’s what it’s all about. Helping others.
Reaching a dream. It can be like climbing a mountain. You take your step then turn to reach out your hand to the person behind you, to help them and make sure they reach their next step.
I think that’s what Dan is doing. Reaching out that hand and helping others reach that next step to attaining their goal and dream.
What we all should do. Whenever we are lucky enough, to have the chance.
Thanks SO MUCH to Dan Gheesling for letting me….. help him.
Thanks for coming to the blog this week! As always I appreciate it so very much because I feel your time is very important. For you to take a moment here is so appreciated by me!. Thank you!.
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Thank you all and have a great week guys! :)
3 Easy Steps To Staying Motivated, Driven and Fired Up!.
Do you have "the fire?"
Inspiration, motivation, desire, devotion, drive…. Fire.
Those are some big words that can carry BIG feelings behind them. When we are lucky enough to have those in our lives, life can be great, exciting, fun.
When you feel the lack of them, life…..
can be lonely, dark ….and even feel meaningless..
Goals can change but you have to stay hungry
When I started going to the gym in the very beginning, it was for me, the first time in a long time getting out and making friends. One day at the gym, one of my friends and I had a conversation about the gym, working out and eating healthy. She said to me….
“Colleen, You’re like I used to be”
What she meant is that I was motivated, inspired, dedicated, driven, everyday 24/7 to the gym, working out and eating right, to my goal of losing weight and getting into great shape. I was dedicated to my goal and my dream.
Today I have had my days when I’m tired or down though I haven’t become less dedicated or less driven, it’s just that my goals have changed somewhat, because I’ve reached that part of my goal that was really the first hurdle to reaching the “end goal”.
This is what I think we can miss and why we lose our drive and motivation.
We reach our goals and then think we’re done. It’s over. Then we feel like my friend:
“you are what I used to be”
Used to be?
My friend forgot one very important rule of having and keeping motivation and drive.
The second you reach a goal the secret to never losing that motivated , dedicated, that driven feeling is get right in there….. and strive for your next goal.
Burn this into your memory. THIS, is inside everyone of us.
If you aren’t reaching and striving for something it can be lonely, and you can feel left behind while watching others happy, motivated and working toward something.
To keep motivation and inspiration and that intense drive alive you need to keep using it!.
My friend forgot that one fact. She needed to keep stoking the fire of motivation, devotion and drive. If you let that fire burn out you will feel tired, bored, listless and without purpose in whatever you are doing and in your life.
That can be death to a dream or goal.
Staying FIRED UP
1. To stay FIRED UP: You have to sit down every once in a while and go over your goal plan. As your goal becomes clearer and you get closer to it, you may need to adjust the plan you been using to reach it. Always keep an eye on how you’re feeling and where you are going. Keep your course fresh and updated. Life changes so fast and we need to change with it and change up our plan to stay in the game and on point. Don’t get diverted. Life likes to throw curve balls at us, and you may even have to toss your plan out the window and start from scratch.
Do not give up, you just have to adjust. That’s life. It loves to throw a wrench in things. Yea, get used to that. Try to see it as a chance to show what you’re made of and hit right back with an even bigger and better plan!.
The choice is optimism or giving up. What do you want to be known for?. Now relax, remain calm, adjust …. Keep moving forward.
2. To stay FIRED UP: Never go backwards. You’ve come far in your goal or goals and going backwards for any reason is not going in the right direction. Forward is progress. Backwards is just that… Look back to see how far you have come, but do not go back, you’ve been there done that…….Move on.
3. To stay FIRED UP: Take time to remember why you are working toward your goal. Everyday take a few minutes to just think about why you are fired up, motivated, driven. Reminding yourself of the reasons you have that fire!. It can feel like you got just got a super charge!.
The wind up
I know it can be tough staying fired up, motivated and that intense drive is a blessing. One which if you are lucky enough to have, please take the time to share your motivation and enthusiasm with someone who is wishing they had it. It can be so lonely and painful to want that fire but can’t seem to find it.
If you have it never under any circumstances let go of it.
But please share your optimism with another. You might be the one to make all the difference!
One thing I need to say is this.
If you have it or have had it. YOU HAVE IT STILL. It might be unseen at the moment. But it was there and it will never die. It was there because you have that kind of heart. Strong devoted, one that has great strength. It can run but it can’t hide. No. You have it. Period. You had it because that’s who YOU ARE.
Don’t let it fool you. It’s there. You need to wake yours up with something that excites you ! You have to look though. You will find it. Look back to one time you had something that made you feel motivated that you would have done anything. When you find it again, remember it’s like a muscle that needs to be used or it gets weak.
That’s the key to motivation, to keep stoking that fire. Keep that fire burning inside you. Keep calling upon you motivation and drive by using it everyday.
Stay hungry. Always keep moving forward and never go back.
Like I said, you’ve been there.
I made up this motto a while ago. I am sure you have heard it somewhere though.
“Never give up, never give in and never say die.”
That was my Mom .
That is Me.
And you too ………..If you want it to be.
Thank you for coming to the blog! I appreciate your support and it means the world to me. Your time is important. Thank you for taking some of it and spending it here!.
What do you do to keep your motivation going? I would love to hear it ! Here is where we can help each other! Please leave a comment below!.. I look forward to reading it!
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Thank you all for coming and please have a wonderful week!. Remember, I may have a special post on Wednesday!
The BIGGEST lie about being overweight!.
I was overweight.
So I really dislike to hear this statement… When I was overweight it drove me nuts.
I’m in shape now and it still…
drives me nuts.
Oh my Gosh!. Really!? Do people really think that!? . I guess some do because in my life I have certainly heard it enough.
So you think that’s all it takes, hand someone a diet plan, point them to the nearest treadmill and just say… “go”.
Oh boy.
Also, that word used to describe overweight people. I don’t think when people use that term “Fat” it’s being said too often by those who aren’t overweight, with the kindest of intentions. Certainly not if they are making this statement or one like it.
Got my Boxing stance, Okay, point me at em”
That ridiculous statement…….Okay, stop saying it…
NOW….. Please.
Do you really think that overweight people in this world desire to be ridiculed, left behind or
are lazy and weak? of course not.
Wow. Let me, let you, in on one of the BIGGEST secrets to losing weight.
I’m not talking 5, 1o, or even 20 lbs.
I’m talking about an amount that will take a few things to pull off. among them time, patience, work, and….
Having Intense - Motivation/Fire/Passion/Drive
A desire , a fire so deep inside you that nothing can put it out. You can barely control it yourself. Something you feel so strong that it makes you do things that you never thought you could do because what you want is so important and vital to your actual breathing in everyday that without it, ……. you couldn’t if you didn’t reach for this dream. Without it, you would not even be you.
It’s at your very core. It IS your very core.
It’s not something thin or overweight we all are born and carry with us every day of our lives unfortunately. If I could bottle it and sell it. God knows I would. I would be happier than you know and I would be Fortune 500′s top money earner every year from now on.
I waited my whole life for that fire. Getting it I know was the blessing of a lifetime. It is a gift, beyond anything I ever expected.
Wanting to reach out
When I started this blog I wanted to motivate everyone out there, most of all those who can’t see to FIND that fire inside themselves or find that desire to even look. Those who have been looking forever and have tried over and over and over.
It can torment you. The lack of drive to diet or exercise. It can make you miserable. You’re overweight and unhappy and God knows you want that steam, that fire, that extreme drive. You watch other people with it and wonder “why not me?” “When”. You have never wanted anything more.
But It doesn’t just appear because you want it so much. There wouldn’t be an overweight person on the face of this earth if it did. Trust me. You know it’s true. No one wants to be overweight, considered “fat” or “heavy” and one my favorite terms I have heard….
“Hefty”
Hey, guys, that’s a garbage bag…. Not a human being. It doesn’t come because you wish it would, or because your or being teased in school or even because you are so unhappy as an adult
you can’t breathe.
Only a person who never has gone through it can really make that statement, truly believing it.
Winding this one up, do Coll a favor
The next time you hear that statement and I bet you will, nicely, for me, please suggest maybe that particular someone try motivating a heart instead of passing on a hurtful thought and ridiculous statement that’s SO false and detrimental perpetuating an idea and frame of mind that is so un-true……that it makes me dizzy..
Remind them that it’s easy to speak a harmful word that can do nothing but hurt and breakdown someone’s spirit.
Try lifting that spirit
Most likely that spirit could use a word of encouragement. Couldn’t we all?
So…..
That fire and extreme motivation is KEY . I would love to give that to you. But it’s already there . I can spark you to look inside yourself to find it, but you have to name that fire on your own. I can’t tell you what it is but I can tell you what it can do for you…
Change your life forever.
We ALL have that one thing inside that drives us to do anything. It’s identifying it that can sometimes takes time. That’s frustrating. I really do understand . I went through that frustration for a long time. The good news is its there.
We all have passion. We all have desire. That fire, is something that is at our core. Makes us who we are. you have it. I promise. You have to find what would make you do anything to reach your goal. Take what you are most passionate about most in this world and find a way to use it as your drive. your fire. Get fired up!
Let it move you to reach, you have to reach, stretch, maybe more than you ever have before. But I swear, it’s worth it. You have to be unstoppable. You may not think you can reach that goal, but you have to be trying to actually do it. I know trying again, to reach a goal that means everything to you But you can. Don’t you dare tell me you can’t. Don’t let anyone else tell you , “you can’t” If there is someone in your life right now telling you that, it’s very likely they are because they themselves tried and couldn’t. I know that sounds cold but I have dealt with that and the best thing to do is find another place to be. It’s bull and you don’t need the pessimistic point of view, it won’t help or do you any good whatsoever.
Ask yourself, what is that drive that’s at your core? You wouldn’t be you without it.–Think about it. Whatever it is find a way to bring it into your daily exercise habits, your desire to eat better, healthier. Reaching and attaining that better life, it can help you do more than losing weight. Maybe reaching for that job you’ve wished was yours. The one you have been afraid to hope for. Try for. Reach for.
Whatever drives you from your very core… That’s your passion.
USE IT!.
I can do this all day. To motivate just ONE, SINGLE, HEART, I will.
Oh.. go ahead….. try me.
(wink)
Thanks for coming to the blog! I appreciate it so much. You taking the time to come is not lost on me. I truly thank you for it.
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Have a wonderful Week!
Gunsmoke had it right.
There is a New tradition in the Kelly house. One that my Brother Michael and my Dad have started.
“Gunsmoke.”
Yes, that’s right I said “Gunsmoke.”
Every day after work my brother will come over and he and my Dad watch this show. Once in a while I watch too. I was very little when it was actually “on the air” but on the Encore western channel on the cable network we have, they show re -runs of the show everyday.
Here’s a peek into “Gunsmoke” and some of the people of Dodge City.
For those who don’t know “Dodge City”
The tv show “Gunsmoke” was an American radio and television Western drama series. The radio version ran from 1952 to 1961, The television version ran for 20 seasons from 1955 to 1975, and was the United States’ longest-running prime time, live-action drama with 635 episodes. The stories take place in and around Dodge City, Kansas, during the settlement of the American West.
A few key citizens of Dodge.
Life, the Dodge way
Life in Dodge most of the time is simple, honest and real. It’s a tv show but it’s much like real in many ways. People who live there wake up each day go to work, come home, raise families have friends, and they go out to dinner, they shop in the local general store and have an occasional drink at the Long Branch Saloon run by Ex saloon girl, Kitty Russel. (She may or may not be Mat’s girl, I have to get back to you on that one). They have problems they worry about, they have everyday concerns and just like in our lives, problems and situations that arise that take longer than 60 minutes to solve. But in the world of television and ”Gunsmoke”, they do their best to sum it all up for you in the allotted time. I wish we could do that in real life. Don’t you?.
Yes, sometimes people disagree and there is a fight. Sometimes a fist is thrown or a shuffle takes place and the Marshall, a friend, or another Dodge citizen steps in and can, most of the time, manage to settle the dispute with common sense solutions or a simple handshake.
Yes this is ”Gunsmoke” and from time to time guns are drawn and shots ring out.. Usually when that happens it’s an outsider come to Dodge and they end up causing trouble. Marshall Dillon usually handles it well though. Thats is his job .
Most of the citizens are honest, hard-working, down to earth , kind and friendly. They treat each other with respect, decency, and compassion. Most of the citizens of Dodge City are the kind of people you would like to have as your neighbors. If you need help with something, you can always find someone there who is willing to reach out and lend a hand. Most everyone in Dodge knows each other and a friendly hand or and heart is not hard to find. A kind word, or a helpful spirit is never that far away.
As I was watching ”Gunsmoke” I started making correlations between the people, life and how they live it in Dodge and life and people as you and I know it in our everyday lives.
I watched and listened to the towns people, how they treat each other and what the think of each other as a whole. I listened to how they treat each other one on one, and as friends and how they treat perfect strangers.
Seeing how life in Dodge is lived ….. I had a thought…….
We should be treating each other like this.. everyday!. Friends, loved ones and strangers…..
Everyone.
Everyone one of us, should be aspiring to treat, not just our friends and loved ones, our neighbors, the people we automatically care about, or should, but everyone we meet each day.
I understand that sometimes having an example for us to see, to follow can be a good reminder and guide, to show us the way.
So…..
Meet U.S. Marshall Matthew Dillon
A tall drink of water
Take Marshall Dillon for instance.
Marshall Matthew Dillon. The leading citizen of Dodge. Respected and liked by most. There are only a few who don’t like Marshall Dillon. Most of the time they are those who aren’t on the right side of the law….. and most people in Dodge… are definitely,
on the right side of the law.
Most everyone in town looks up to Marshall Mat Dillon because he lives his life and performs the duties of Marshall of Dodge City with a few simple rules of conduct…
Honor. Decency. Fairness. Respect.
He is a straight forward, straight shooting guy. (no pun intended) There is a right way and there is a wrong way. He always tells the truth. He is always fair. He always does the right thing even when it’s difficult. He is always right there for his friends when they need him and does the job of protecting Dodge City, every man, woman and child and just those passing through Dodge, with thoughtfulness and care.
But one important point: He does his job not just because he has to or because he’s getting paid to, but because he truly cares about and has great respect for the badge, the meaning and feeling behind it, and the people for whom he works…The People of Dodge.
His values and ethics are pretty simple and he stands by them… No matter what the cost. They are….
Have respect for others – He is a gentleman. Treats every man, woman and child with respect and decency.
Tell the truth and stand up for what’s right – He stands for truth because he feels it is the best way to live. The best way to be. Honest. Justice is something he always tries to always keep. Sometimes though justice loses and you can lose your perspective. Though even in the face of a tragedy or wrong winning over what he knows is right, he keeps his head and tries to find some good… in a bad situation.
Be fair and decent – Fairness is something he tries to keep in every situation but it doesn’t always work that way. He does his best to be fair and serve that rule. Decency is not a question. Just simply lived. It’s the foundation of his character as a human being.
Have and show compassion and understanding – He is a human being and finds it difficult to be always compassionate for those who set out to hurt others. He tries to see all sides to be fair and just. He does his best to understand a lot of them are lost, angry, and that some people have just decided to be, just that. Lost and angry. Those people he does his best to help… if they let him.
Be patient, be in control – He would rather use his intelligence and talk a problem out. Getting into a fight or argument only if absolutely necessary to save, protect or stand up for a friend, a citizen, or himself …….Using his weapon is always the last resort. He is a person known for his Integrity, honesty, strength, fairness, selfless acts, strong values, being a good and faithful friend, and having respect for all living things.
Bottom line is….. I think we need to ‘cowboy up’ boys and girls
So exactly why aren’t we all striving to be like Marshall Dillon?
Hey, I’m serious. Is it an unreasonable request, or just too much effort? Is it really too much work to try to be the best we can be? to be truly decent, compassionate, honest, forthright people and citizens?.
And not just when it serves us to be.
I know it can be hard to stay calm and talk out a problem, ”holster your six-gun” so to speak. Rather than just throwing a punch or a carefully worded insult when challenged and stopping it all right there. Or maybe sometimes it can be easier to make up a lie rather than tell the truth. Or easier not bother to put yourself out and lend a hand to someone and be there for another person rather than assume the next person can and will do it.
The problem with that way of thinking is there isn’t always going to be another person coming to help. Sometimes you are that person to carry out the responsiblity in front of you. To possibly rise to the occasion and be the strong one. Maybe the smart one, the wise one, or maybe even the one in control, the bigger person..
I get it. It’s hard….. I think the key word is… Effort.
Yes, being the best person you can be, can call upon you to stand up and put forth an effort maybe you never thought you would have to. Sometimes a situation asks you to be more than just the person who glides through life with the outlook of “yea, whatever man”.. But guess what!.
That’s the idea!. That’s actually the pay off, The Effort!.
Sometimes being the best person you can be can be tough. I mean life and people can be ….frustrating, exhausting and…. well, frustrating!.
Did I say that already?. I understand life in Dodge may be all summed up in a tidy little happy 60 minutes and that real life may take a bit longer that most of the time. Life is not a 60 minute episode of Gunsmoke.
But I think if we just put forth the effort to treat each other a little bit more like the people in Dodge City do, treat each person we meet, not just those we ALREADY respect and show kindness to, but everyone we are going to meet, with the respect, decency and compassion AND a little patience and understanding we give the ones we already care about and love, we can reach and become the best of who we were born to be.
The best version of us.
They say “Life imitates art”. In this case I whole heartedly agree it should. Maybe we all should watch a few Gunsmoke re-runs. Maybe my Dad and Brother have the right idea. Maybe the people of Dodge City and Mat Dillon knew something we sometimes have trouble remembering, something we can’t afford to forget.
That the effort we make to treat life and the people we know and meet along the way, with respect, decency, kindness and a little compassion is not only worth the effort, but in the end, hopefully like in Gunsmoke, living those beliefs, living those ethics, comes back to us, in one way or another and also in the faces of those we care about……. and in the faces of those people we meet along the way.
Thank you for coming to visit the blog! I appreciate the support I recieve. I feel your time is important and for you to spend a few minutes here, I’m grateful and in awe of all of you!.
Have you ever seen “Gunsmoke” and what do you think of what I wrote? Leave a comment below I would love to know any thought you have on this!
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Have a great week everyone!
Our mean… “little voice”….
I’m a big believer in listening to your “little voice’. The one for example that whispers to us that we aren’t making the right choice even though everything looks right, still we feel something….. Is off or just not right, so we change minds and it turns out that little voice was right!. Or even when you hear a news story in which someone says,
“I just knew not to get on that plane” …..I just knew“.
THAT little voice, I firmly believe we should follow and listen too… All the time. I try very hard to do that. I think if you listen to your heart, you can’t go wrong. I truly believe it.
That said…
We have another ‘little voice’ . This one… Is not so helpful.
There is another little voice that we listen but this one only seems to want to cause trouble. Not guide us to make the right decisions or save the day. No, this one seems to show up when we get depressed or just after our confidence level has taken an upper cut to the jaw. Like when something happens that causes us to feel small, vulnerable and in a lot of cases…alone.
Feeling low, that sneaky little voice can convince you NOT to try harder, that you shouldn’t bother. It can convince you NOT to ask that girl to marry you. It can convince you NOT to TRY ONE MORE TIME to reach that goal or dream , when IF you did, you might have had everything you dreamed of. All you had to do…. was try one more time.
It can make you think you’re stupid, or make you feel self conscious for doing something that was just……HUMAN .
Okay, so how can we prevent that little voice from winning?
Handling that ‘little voice’ like a pro!
A moment is not who you are! Don't let it grip you!.
The trick is to neutralize that little voice when it starts whispering to your “confidence” how dumb you are… Like for instance….
How stupid you look now that you have tripped and fell across the stage, in front of the audience you were making your BIG speech in front of, that little voice, letting you know you might as well now crawl off that same stage instead of getting up, walking to the podium, looking out at that crowd, who is now trying to muffle their laughter, look them all straight in the eye and say….
“What a trip I HAD……… to be here tonight!!” (An example of handling that little voice the best way.) Corny, but effective!
Remembering who we really are in that moment, is the key to nuetralizing that little voice.
But unfortunately, sometimes, it wins.. It can have impeccable timing. You’re alone, hurt, feeling small, no one around to turn to. That moment of being vulnerable and open, CAN even change the course of your life.
A bad moment….. that won
I know someone who wanted to be a Police Officer. On the day they took their exams they were feeling really good about it, as it turned out, they did really well on all their exams. Even though my friend was sick with a bad cold and fever, he passed and received a good grade on his physical exam as well.. (He had to take his exams that day, there were no make up exams.)
My friend, even though he was told he aced his exams and was well liked, did not get the spot he was trying for.
He later found out, and just told me as a matter of fact, that they spoke to a person involved with the situation at the time, and was told he would have been chosen, only that the person making that final decision….. Chose a close friend for the spot instead.
My friend was so hurt and disappointed that he didn’t want to take the test again right away. In that moment, the feeling of failure hurt so much it made him feel, his best wasn’t good enough, so why try again. He KNEW his grades, he had even aced the physical part sick.
He had done everything right. It still it wasn’t enough. So he thought.
He didn’t know at the time the choice was made not according to his performance, but because someone knew someone else.
Today, a few years later, he told me, in a conversation we had about a month ago he wished he had tried one more time, but he was just too hurt and stunned at the time . He didn’t feel he could stand going through that all again after doing everything he could in the first place. Not right away.
He thought trying at a later time would be better…But he never did.
Funny, we always think ….. maybe later.
That little voice talked him into not trying, talked him into giving up, that he failed and there was no point in trying again.
Life can hit us hard!. Sometimes we're too hurt to "swing back"..
Guess what?
That moment of disappointment overwhelmed him as it can all of us. That little voice screamed so loud he couldn’t hear anything else but . If he had been able to neutralize that voice when it first started whispering It might have changed everything that day.
Maybe the rest of his life.
That’s scares me. I have felt stupid in a moment, too many as a matter of fact. I’m human. But right now I can see and realize that fact. When that little voice grabs a hold of us in that weak and vulnerable moment of feeling stunned and hurt, what if …….We listen to it and let it ..
Change our destiny.
We have to turn that moment around!.
Tips for neutralizing that lying little voice
1. In that moment Stand back! View it as a spectator… and really look at the situation –If you can manage to take that step back in that moment, see it as a spectator looking into the situation, what would you tell that person if you could? … Would you tell them they failed and to quit?… Or would tell them to hold on and keep trying? Then do it. Give that to yourself. If it were someone else you know you would do that for them….Do it for you! You deserve it no less!.
2. Seek out those who believe in you –find someone who supports you and is always in your corner. Let them show you from the stand point of someone who knows you and sees you not only in a moment of failure or weakness but sees you in your strongest moments as well. Someone who can give you a true picture of who you are. Not just the failure you are feeling and seeing in the mirror at the moment.
3. Look for the underdog success stories–The world is full of underdogs and amazing stories of men and women who never gave up despite their many failures and setbacks. You can google a million or look around at those you trust and love. Each one will most likely have a story of their own that you will find inspiring. Talk to them. You might find you have a few of the most inspiring people in the world, as members of your own family as well as your friends …and you had no idea.
The bottom line is this
We have to surround ourselves with those who really know and see the real us on a regular basis. Friends, family, people who we’re ourselves with and have seen us at our worst… and our best. . Those are the voices we need to seek out when that little voice is being loud and annoying.
I know in a moment of embarrassment, of fear, feeling we have failed, the moments of humanity we all too often take as a window into our true selves, that it can seem hopeless or a waste of time, but it’s not that 1% of our lives that defines us, Please hear me,
It’s not.
It’s the other 99% of our lives we live each day. It’s not the fleeting moments it takes to trip, fall, misstep, or fail an exam. The moments we think are such huge failures. It’s the life lived each day. That other 99% we tend to forget about. Helping others, giving our time and of ourselves, loving, caring, sharing, and fighting and working everyday to make our lives and the lives of those we love better, that defines who we really are. Those moments are so much more precious the real us than those little moments when we stumble. We have to realize that is truly our real, authentic self….
Not that other 1% when we’re just being Human.
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