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Do you have “positive like minded people” around you?

February 25, 2012

I  want you to take a look around at the people you spend your time with.

Are they supportive, optimistic, uplifting, inspiring?

Do they motivate you when you need that little extra push to keep going, to get through that bad day or really help you make a tough decision?

In other words……Are they Positive?  

 

A wise friend

When I saw this status update from a friend and blogger the other day on his Facebook I knew he was right.

 

Never underestimate the importance of surrounding yourself with positive like-minded people”.  

( That wise person was another blogger and friend who is now a writer as well!.  Dan Gheesling .  He  just wrote a terrific E-book.  His first! –for more info. on how to see his E-book please be sure to get the link to the book below at the end of this post!   -Thanks !  🙂  )

 

He was talking about positive people, people who  lift you up, listen to you and can make you feel you can do anything  People who look at something from the Positive side …….Not just the negative.

It’s tougher than you think to find people who  no matter what your problem they listen,  and this is a biggie….

RESPECT your feeling’s on a subject no matter what their opinion and feelings on it are.

 

I had a conversation with someone a few days ago about something that I have been dealing with for a long time.     I talked about how I have been affected by my situation and  how I’ve been going through a lot over it,   that the answer and path was clear to me  and the only one to really take to solve my dilemma.   Over and over I explained it and…. over and over they just kept telling me to keep holding on and wait.  Wait and to hold off on doing anything,  that it would be better for me in the long run to try it their way.

I kept thinking ..”Wait? …..for what?  Did you even HEAR what I have been going through!?”

No.  They weren’t really listening.  They couldn’t really hear me .

Unfortunately, some people just won’t hear you, no matter what you do.

That person  was not listening to what I was saying.  To be fair, they have no idea or has ever been in my position.   But he didn’t even attempt to look at it from the possible positive outcome it could bring me.   They only talked about how hard it could be to do what I felt needed to be done and went over and over the possible problems it could bring.   But being a  friend,  I wanted to talk to them.   I just knew they would understand my side and be positive about it.   But unfortunately, they couldn’t be that for me.

When I walked away I felt misunderstood and alone.

After this conversation I looked AND felt…like this.

 

“Let there be light”

 

Then…. you have a great moment!

I was at the gym a few days later and I was thinking about my situation while working out… NOT a good idea.   It was not helping my workout.

I heard, “Hey Colleen,  are you taking my class?”   It was a Trainer who I talk to from time to time,  we started talking.   He was having a cup of coffee before his class.

We started talking about things and he asked what was going on with me.   It got around to my situation.     We talked for a while  and I told him  how I felt about it and he replied back  smiling,  nodding,  he asked questions, and even though he couldn’t know exactly how it has felt to be in my position, he still responded with understanding and I could see,  he was really trying to put himself in my position.

When I had told him everything he said this to me.

Well, Colleen,  “what if you do,  what you would like to do.  How will it make you feel, how will it change your life?”.    I thought and answered. 

Then he asked me  “What If you don’t do this, how will that make you feel?”.  How will it change your life?.  I thought and answered. 

 

We only talked for about 20 minutes but when he left for his class I felt  peaceful, optimistic and happier than I had in days.   The differences between the two conversations was  monumental.

 

                                                                         

The Difference 

 

The first conversation made me feel………… Like no one could hear me.  

The second conversation made me feel …….Like I was theonly person in the room.

 

After the second conversation I slept like this…( I’m not THIS cute though.)

What I want YOU, to take away from this story 

                                                                         *****

In the second conversation we  discussed both the pro’s and con’s and they didn’t just focus on only the possible downside of my situation if I chose the path I felt was the answer.    I walked  away feeling relieved, unburdened, heard and understood.   He was positive and optimistic and  …….A good listener too. 

Remember that not every friend or family member will see your side or agree with you or on your decisions.  They may think as the first person I had my conversation did that my problem really wasn’t something important enough to take any action right away …Where I know different.

That’s just it really.  I know what had to be done.  No matter what either person had said to me.  I still know in my heart what I had to do be happy.  I just needed positive reinforcement.    Not to be told what to do,  but just that pat on the back, smile and understanding.  Just to be heard

I was reminded that day it’s one of the most important things you can give someone…..

That feeling of being simply ….. Heard.

 

 

 

Thanks for coming to my blog!  I always appreciate your time.  To me it’s very important!.  Please leave a comment below and let me know what you think about having positive people in your life. Do you?  I really would like to hear your stories too!.  You know mine! haha    Tell me yours! (wink)  If you liked my story please share it! you can choose a way below 🙂   I would appreciate it!  😉

You can also follow me here!

Follow Me on Facebook! www.facebook.com/ColleenFKelly

Follow the blog on Facebook!  www.facebook.com/A-Work-in-Progress

Go to the top right of this page to  “Follow me” on Twitter ! 

My blogger friend Dan Gheesling just wrote an E Book!   It’s a fun exciting read and his OWN true story on how he got on The Reality tv show “Big Brother” and won!  Please check it out today!   Here is the link to look at it and order it!    It’s great I promise!    http://howtogetonrealitytv.us2.list-manage.com/track/click?u=94b308dada0c759e45bd703fd&id=379be50dd6&e=de5d1a41b1 

Have a great week guys! 🙂

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. February 28, 2012 5:40 PM

    I know what you mean Colleen. You see, I’m the person all my friends come to for advice. Guess you figured that out just from my blog right!

    I also tell them look at it as if I was asking them this same question. What advice would they give me. It sure can help them see things a little differently because I’m not always emotionally attached to the outcome like the person asking for advice. Depending on what they ask I will sometimes ask the same thing that your coach friend did.

    I’m glad he was there for you and it helped. I think that sometimes our friends don’t know how to help us which is why the majority of my friends come to me for advice but they aren’t there when I need it. Guess that’s why I don’t have that many really close friends anymore.

    • February 29, 2012 6:43 AM

      The fact that everyone does see you as that person is something I think you can be very proud of.
      We can all dish out advice but no one will ever come back for more if we’re bad at it. You obviously are GOOD at it!.
      I was surprized at my friend for not “getting it”. She should have. I was dissapointed.. But that’s life. Some people take the time to “feel” your problem and others are barely with you in the conversation.

      It really stinks when you’re there for everyone and in return they can’t or won’t, be there for you as well. Again Life.
      I have a feeling though you don’t ask a lot of advice of others. In certain area’s anyway. Blogging!. 🙂 I do see that in you on your blog!.
      Can I ask, Do you like being that person? –The one always there.
      To be honest, I have a few friends but my life has been very different than thiers. (my taking care of Mom for that time) –So asking advice from them, is not something I do a lot of either. But I agree with you.
      If your friends can’t or won’t be there for you. It’s hard to always only be there for them. You can get tired of being the “go to girl” for friends and get nothing in return. Friendship is not one sided. I do my best to be there for everyone though. Something we might have in common Adrienne 🙂 You think we have a “people pleaser” in us? lol.
      Hey thanks for coming. 🙂 I know I say this everytime but it’s always true. It means so much!! 🙂

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